Interview #4 with Joel "Thor" Neeb

POST TRAUMATIC GROWTH

Joel “Thor” Neeb… is it okay if I just call you Thor?”

I immediately became interested in Thor with his unconventional name. As I listened to Bryan Wish’s One Away Podcast, featuring Joel “Thor” Neeb, it became clear to me why he carries such a name. Though I don’t know the real reason, it seems to me that the name Thor fits him as he carries himself with a strength, tenacity, and humble character that is unique to what I’ve ever seen. In listening to the podcast I became particularly intrigued by a concept that he dubbed as “Post Traumatic Growth.” Post Traumatic Growth (PTG) is an alternative way to look at life when you face hardship, as opposed to the more commonly understood term: Post Traumatic Stress (PTS).

Like many people, there have been times in Thor’s life when he faced a hardship or an obstacle that seemed insurmountable in the present moment. Thor suggests, however, that it is often after a hardship that we experience the most profound positive growth. Thor explained to me that he believes that it is our deepest pains and hardships that accelerate us further into success, love, and connection.

Wow! He just articulated a theme that I have been pondering for the last two months… I gotta get this guy on the phone…

YOUNG AND UNRULY

From the start, Thor is honest with me that he had no plan when he was in his 20’s. He hadn’t struck a particular passion or calling quite yet. It was an easy decision for him to join the Air Force Academy; he intuitively knew it would give him the discipline and direction that he needed.

I gawked as he described to me his air force responsibilities…. as someone who is afraid of planes I am blown away by the courage and teamwork that it takes to be a part of the air force. 

“The best part of life is outside the comfort zone.”

GOING FOR GOLD: AN MBA

There’s no doubt that Thor’s time with the Air Force Academy granted him a myriad of skills. He could lead teams, he was brave, and an ambitious leader. Thor explained to me that his choice to go seek a Master’s in Business (MBA) was to not only use his new skills, but to gain the necessary credibility to transition into any industry that he wanted.

WHAT IF YOU WERE TOLD YOU HAD 18 MONTHS TO LIVE?

I am so grateful for the vulnerability and honesty that Thor was able to share with me in reminiscing on the story of where he really thought his life was over. In 2010, Thor was told that he had stage IV cancer and had 18 months left to live.

One can imagine the physical and emotional pain that Thor and his family endured at this time, yet Thor was quick to tell me that his pain and discomfort were the keys to unlocking his growth and full potential.

“Pain itself isn’t justified, scars are what we will always carry.”

Thor made a miraculous recovery and from this moment forward it was all “Post Growth.”

THE THREE G’s TO SUCCESS

No, I'm not talking about the 3G network… Thor has put together an easy formula for fostering revolutionary change in your life.

1. Growth

2. Gratitude

3. Giving

1. Growth

Thor says that growth means to always be asking yourself “What does success look like to me?” He believes that one will manifest what one visualizes. Once one defines an overarching vision: work backwards. 

Reverse engineer your dreams and be absolutely unafraid of failure.  Easier said than done of course.

But for Thor, it really is that simple. He never regretted his failures, only what he never even tried.

“I never lamented my failures… I only lamented not trying.”

Thor also believes for someone in their 20’s to unlock their growth, you need structure. Find mentors and communities you can use to pull yourself up within. Don’t do this all on your own but commit to what you say you’ll do!

Thor texts himself every morning with the top 3 things he wants to get done. He doesn’t sleep until he finishes them. Simple and highly focused execution every time. Delete everything off your to do list that isn’t those top 3 things!

Another way to grow: say yes! 

“Say yes to the things you are afraid of.”

Don’t worry about achieving with perfection, focus (and enjoy!) the process of figuring things out! Similar to Darrell Rodriguez, Thor is a big believer in cultivating yourself as a generalist.

When you feel that fear coming try telling yourself a different narrative…

“I don’t have to, I get to!”

But Thor… you are making this sound easier than it is! Messing up or doing things I’m afraid of can leave me feeling embarrassed… I don’t want to make a fool of myself…

Spoiler: No one actually cares that much and probably isn’t paying as much attention to you as you think they are! Choose progress over perfection.
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2. Gratitude

Thor reminds me of a little phrase: comparison is the thief of joy! Thor explains his perspective on gratitude noting that although it can be difficult, encourage yourself to have a grateful perspective on the world around you. Once you have, you will have the open mind and heart to streamline your ambitions and achieve your goals. You become extremely focused on the right things.

“Gratitude gives you an elevated sense of well-being.”

Thor focused on gratitude even in some of the darkest moments in his life. In doing so, you find peace with the hardships in front of you and are able to better embrace them and move forward with your life.

3. Giving

Give back. This doesn’t just mean to a local charity. Take what you learn and share it with others. Thor is an excellent example of this as he’s taking the time out of his busy schedule to sit down and give me the time of day. He is sharing with me the nuggets of advice that he’s picked up in his life… and now I’m sharing it with you.

But what am I giving back to Thor?! This is a great question and most definitely an insecurity I have every time I jump on the phone. How can I ever repay these experts who are literally sharing years of knowledge and their precious time with me? What can I possibly offer them?

You will be surprised at how many people will take your call. Not only do people enjoy talking about themselves, but by asking them deep insightful questions about their past, present, and future, you enlighten and maybe inspire them too.

I have had many interviewees, including Thor, tell me that I am giving back to them in ways I cannot see. Thor is generating new insight about himself from the conversation that I’ve started and the questions that I’ve asked. Everyone has something to offer :-)

A CHALLENGE FOR YOU

Thor ends our conversation by posing a challenge to me which I am now posing to you: worry less about titles and money in your career search, and, instead, find the right system that aligns with your long term vision. Let that system eat you up and pull you right on through it - even if that means working long hours for little pay.

Be like a voracious warrior because everything you do today can impact where you are five years later! Short term suffering is for long term growth!